unconditional

Epic failure on this one. I will love and accept you only if. ?..haha yeah.  You say you are  jealous and possessive,  things you say are not love and yet, they aren't a sin for you. Nature now there's a success.  Nature treats none differently or unfairly,  we all have the same chance. I guess the worst part was the waiting. I can no longer be still or silent,  my patience ran thin years ago, I cannot waste my breath any longer.  You had the chance to make it right, it was your choice not to. How many times did  you think Id crumble to my knees.  You already knew the answer. You already knew youd lead me here and leave me alone and bleeding .

prayers

Excuse me for being ungrateful but I put it all out there, gave you everything I had to give. You took it all and gave nothing back. You stole every dream I ever had and made them worthless. You tarnished every good thing but for what lesson? 49 years later Im just bitter. I realize I am small and insignificant in the large scheme of things but Im now ashamed that I led others to put their faith in you. Your words have made me blind. Your path has left me lost. Your redemption has left me seeking hell. You had your chance to end all this, there was supposed to be a purpose? Have you forgotten it as well? I can no longer sit here waiting on your empty words and promises. Its going to take actions now, act and I will respond. Show me and I will act otherwise you are nothing more than strength for a weak mind. I cant give you anything more cause there is nothing left. You turned your back and walked away leaving me cold, confused, and alone. You ignored my screams and cries for help. Turn around and show me, prove that it wasnt futile. Prove me wrong, show me something other than my blind faith or show nothing again.

Rant, rant, rant aka blah, blah, blah

So Ive had this evil rant on my brain for a few weeks now and its not going anywhere so I guess the best thing to do is to write it down for posterity and hope it stops trying to eat a hole through my brain. Its all about evil corporate giants such as Walmart, Lowes, Home Depot, Target, I would add KMart but they went broke trying to keep up with Walmart so even a corporate giant can be disolved if Walmart so deems. I can remember when these giants wanted to move into our areas, we scoffed at the petitioners who said they were destroying small business, adding that if they wanted to move in, there was nothing we could do to stop them. Actually there was, instead of giving in, we should have banned their stores and kept shopping at the mom and pop stores that are now out of business or so far in the hole just trying to keep their doors open. We justify shopping there cause well, why shouldnt we get the lowest price possible? We dont really care at whose cost is it, its cheap, right? These stores have created the destruction and death of small business and do we really even care? They can make or break a product or company if they like, an example is if you shop at walmart and they no longer carry your favorite product, you buy the competitor. Why waste the gas and pay a higher price elsewhere? Most dont even question why they no longer carry their favorite brand, they just buy a different one. Who really cares about the reason why right? Who really cares if the distributor or company suffers a financial loss, you are still saving money, it doesnt affect you, right? We complain that people dont care anymore, but we fail to see the connection between small business and relationships. We have been desensitized to small business, a fact that makes our government very happy. They are well on their way to creating a two class society, the rich and the poor, there will be no middle ground soon because the middle ground were the small businessmen who actually cared and gave back to their community. They can no longer survive because corporate america gives the deals to the evil giants and the small man cant even begin to compete. As far as you know you are getting a great deal right? Did you know that every foot of shelf space is paid for by the person/company that displays there? Did you know that the reason your favorite product leaves the shelf is that another company could afford to pay a higher price for that shelf space? Did you know that these companies get prices on products that are close to cost? Is it passed on to you? If you think it is, think again. This is why your grocery stores have higher prices, they cant afford to buy in bulk like the evil giant, and the evil giant counts on that. The evil giant would like all the strip malls, grocery stores, shopping districts closed, and you rely only on them and the product that pays the most to be in their store. And when you go there and they have 50 cash registers and you are standing 50th in line at one of the two or three that are open, dont complain, I mean, they need to make more money so why pay for more employees, you can afford to wait, I mean, you are getting such a great deal, right? If more people would care, less would shop at Walmart and more would shop at the existing mom and pop stores until corporate america has to offer them deals. Lets support the small business man, the person who started trade in america and show the giants that there is more to us than a bottom line!

Another day closer...

...to Valentines Day. I am hoping to get lots of orders for chocolate covered strawberries, I just love making those as well as my other candies. I will admit I am feeling stressed these days, things haven't been going so well but I am hoping for a much better year. Not much planned for today, been doing some cleaning and reorganizing but I get sidetracked so quickly. Cant wait to get my valentines samples done and pics posted. I guess that is all for now....

Somedays...

...this title should be Ramblings from an insomniac. I did sleep almomst 4 hours earlier but just couldnt go back to sleep. What are my plans for today... I want to go through my molds and sort out my valentines day molds and get some samples ready and get ready to take orders for Chocolate Covered Strawberries oh yum! I really enjoy doing my samples. Has my life become that mundane? Yes, I believe it has but thats ok. I should do some chores areound here like some dusting and sweeping as well. Maybe I can go back to sleep in a little while since it seems to elude me at the moment. Meg is going to see if she can get some hours with Frannk at the restaurant which would be nice, maybe I can go with her and get some candy made. I need to work on some places that may want to sell for me and maybe some people that would like to sell at work for me. I have always done well with that before. Hoping everyone has a great day...

missed a few days

It was the weekend and while it wasnt anything exciting I just didnt seem to find the time to post. We took down and packed them back in the attic, moved things around and my treadmill is now in the living room instead of the office so now maybe I will use it again, have a nice big window to look out of. As far as progress, there is none so far, Im disappointed and discouraged, hopefully that changes soon. Pain in my shoulders and leg kept me from doing much exercise. I am having less pain so I hope this week will be better. I wish I had a bit more encouragement or someone to walk/exercise with but maybe that will come along soon too.

Six days In...

Already 6 days into the new year, the time sometimes seems to just fly by and yet some days seem to go on forever...no happy medium. I did well on my diet most of the week until last night hunger struck me at midnight and I had a bagel with cream cheese. I should have picked something better but it was a craving that I decided to feed. I know I will have days like that and I am not complaining, this takes time and patience but patience I am short on these days. I reconnected with an old friend yesterday, wow it was great to talk to her (thanks colleen) it seems like forever sometimes but we both know we are always there for eachother no matter what. Im having this strange mystery pain in my leg, it started yesterday, I cant figure it out but I hope it mysteriously vanishes like it appeared. I am hoping to get out to the club tonight if just for a little while, havent been out of the house much this week...wait..I dont think I was out at all...LOL! I will definitely be there tomorrow night, sure wish there were a band but the jukebox is good.